youre lurking in front of me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
