i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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