i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize