omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize