I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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