Only a mothe r could love this liver
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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