She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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