i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
