Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
