Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
