Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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