who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
