My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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