He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
