gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
