On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
