Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize