what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
