im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
