i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So squirting runs in the family.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
