The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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