Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
