I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
