so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
