It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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