I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
