we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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