So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
