Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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