can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
