my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
