I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
