Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
