hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
