New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
