This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
