Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize