I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
