No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
