oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
