fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
