Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I need to calm my uterus...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
