Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
