there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
