Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
