come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
