What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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