She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
