I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
