I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
