C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
