Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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