so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
