discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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