This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
