Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
