butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
