I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
