She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There's always time for handjobs
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
