Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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