The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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