I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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