i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
