after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
