The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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