just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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