So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
