I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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